Comedic Goons
by timenspace
Summary: While exploring a destroyed amusement park one dark foggy night, Harley comes across some new pets. And Joker may not approve. J/HQ. WARNING: fluffy oneshot written to make you feel all tingly inside.


**Title: **_Comedic Goons_

**Fandom/Pairing: **_JokerxHarley _

**Universe: **_The Animated Series_

**Author: **_Leiathecrazyjeditimetraveler_

**Summary: **_On destroyed circus grounds, new pets are found. _

_**Comedic Goons**_

Harley grinned up at the dilapidated amusement park with its destroyed rides, a shattered House of Mirrors, and its various ruined circus-like displays. Shouldering her mallet, she followed her "Puddin'', an eager smile on her crazed face. "We gonna smash 'em Boss?" she asked in a lilting tone.

"Oh no, no, no, no," _he _said with a dark chuckle. "This is our new hideout my sweet, my secret lair -"

"Our love nest Puddin'?" she asked cuddling up against his jacket. He shoved her away and she squeaked in surprise.

"No," he grumbled as though talking to a juvenile, "Place to store everything - keep the lock from the key, so to speak."

Harley nodded in understanding. _Place to store all his gimmicks so if the Bats ever found their hideout, he wouldn't find their treasures._ But Harley was disinterested in all the logic. "I wanna explore, see what's around..." she said excitedly, yet in a low voice, feeling like a kid in a candy-store trying to contain herself. Loud noises tended to attract certain sonar.

He just nodded absently, too busy looking up at the faulty ferris wheel with its broken chairs and charred cushions - and grinning - to notice.

Harley huffed in impatience and walked off in the direction of what looked like circus cages. It looked like there had been some sort of fire. Probably the arson that just liked to burn everything. Harley hadn't bothered to remember his name. As long as he didn't bother her Puddin', names didn't matter - right?

It looked like nobody had gotten around to cleaning up - which meant, fortunately for her and her Angel, that their enemy wouldn't be hunting them tonight for sheer sport.

Considering the dark fog that was hanging over the city, she doubted _anyone _would bother them. But she'd been wrong before.

After taking her mallet to a couple of cages and barrels for some practice swings, Harley wandered boredly over to another corner, hearing weird noises. As she came closer it sounded like ... crying. Soft, mewling _blaahhhts_, and whimpering. It sounded almost like a _baby, _or more than one.

Seeing a mass of fur in a cage, she aimed her trusty bottle-gun, and shattered the lock. Curious to see what was in the cage, she crawled on her hands and knees, moving a cold spotted body of an animal, that didn't quite look like either a dog or a cat.

The cries were louder and more pitiful now, and although it was dark and she had left her Puddin' with the light, she could still see movement coming from right where she almost put her hand. A little head and two kitten-like ears emerged from under a blanket. Harley wrinkled her nose. It must have been five days since the fire, which meant - suddenly a wave of sympathy swept over her for the little creature. The poor thing had been alone and frightened, crying its heart out, with no one to hear. She scooped up the tiny creature, which managed to fit into both hands, baby-talking over its mewling cries. "Oh! Aren't you da sweetest baby? Oh yes you are, yes you are!" It looked like something between a kitten and a puppy, but Harley didn't care what it was. She hadn't had pets, not since high school, but she loved them immensely.

The "baby" licked her warm hands, snuggling into her gloves, biting playfully at her cuffs, letting out little whiny noises. Another head emerged from under the blanket with a _"blaaahnt"_, with smaller ears and different spots. Harley giggled as the other jumped out of her hands, trying desperately to lick her face. "Yes, you are dah sweetest babies..." she cooed, as the pups fought to be in her lap at the same time.

"Harley!" Puddin'. Callin' again.

Tucking one "baby" into the crook of each arm, she ran in the direction of his call.

"Hi Puddin'! Look what I found, oh you're so cute, yes you are," she babbled to the baby creatures.

"What in the name of jumpin' jiminy Christmas - _Harley!" _

_"_Awww, aren't dey dah sweetest babies, Puddin'?"

Mistah J frowned, though it was near impossible for his smiling face. "You can't keep them as _pets, _Harley. They're hyneas!"

"Oh - bu-but c'mon, Puddin'! Please! I could train them an' they'd keep me company, an' they wouldn't eat _that _much, c'mon _pleeease?" _Harley pouted, trying to keep a hold on them as they squirmed to be let down. Jumping out of her grip, they wobbled over and started promptly play-fighting over Mistah J's shoelaces."Bad babies, don't do that!" she admonished sternly, hoping he wouldn't send both of them over the fence with a flying kick. But he just laughed.

"Those little things will be the death of me yet! Oh alright," he said, scowling again at her happy squeak, "but _you'll _have to feed them - I'm not sharing my plate with a creature that likes dead elephants, and they're sleeping on your side of the bed!"

"Oh don't worry, Puddin'," Harley said with a grin, "they'll just be the sweetest babies..."

"And you have to _name _them. Can't just go running around calling them babies all the time. It's not like their kids."

"Why don't you name them after your favorite comedians?"

"Which ones? All the goons have their names..."

"Not Bud and Lou, you outed them last week..." she reminded him. He'd really just poisoned them with acid in a flying rage, but why remind him?

"Harley!"

"Well, they'd be just like goons, Puddin'!"

He rolled his eyes, sighing in a bit of mock defeat. "Fine!"

"Awww, thank you Puddin'!" she squealed taking a flying leap into his arms and showing him with kisses.

He made a disgusted face, but let her express her affection on him. Sometimes he _liked_ when she did that. Not that he'd ever tell her.

_A/N: I don't often write fluff, but this just had to be written. If you've seen The Animated Series you know about Bud and Lou. I suppose this is somewhat of an origin story, set before Trial. _

_Yeah, I know, out of continuity (if you go by: _.com/_, 'cause Joker had the hyenas in Mad Love, but it's at the point in their relationship where he's kinda used to having his obsessed little henchwench around.  
_


End file.
